When someone starts “speaking out”, one is automatically branded as a Rank Apostate, bitter, or seeking to do harm. That is what the leaders of the FLDS want everyone to think in hopes Truth will not be made known. Honestly, I believed that myself for so long.


Is this a stand against polygamy or results of anger?

Is it to hinder, put down, or say “woe is me?”

The answer to all these questions is “NO!”

I’ve actually had a pretty good life. I made the best of the blessings given. I loved my family. We were somewhat of a model Plural family to those around us. My sister-wives were my best friends. We had our problems but worked through it because we all had the same goals in view.

What made me start writing in the first place? To leave with my children the knowledge of the love their mother had for them. It spurred me into having a deeper, stronger, more intense fight for them than I thought I could muster.

Though I don’t feel or believe the same way, I still respect others for their beliefs and expect them to do the same for me, as we are all here to live the best we can with our individual paths.

I am ashamed at my neglect. I slackened in my efforts to keep up with my writing.

I have to confess, it’s not as easy as one would think. In fact, it has been more 13315672_506871132846634_6402080187358220959_ndifficult than I imagined. I thought I was ready to speak out and share. I’m living my life all over again. Everything I bottled up for 33 years, I’m re-living and facing it RAW, more awake and realistic than ever before.

Last time, I started into a section of an experience that was extremely emotional, and the nightmares returned. I woke up sobbing as I relived the feelings all over again.

I thought about taking the easy way out and just drop it all and move on, yet I feel driven and inspired to continue for whatever the outcome may be.

About Sarah

The Compelling story of a young woman's courage, being born, raised and married in the sheltered dictatorship of FLDS Cult under the leadership and rule of Warren Jeffs. At eighteen I entered into an arranged marriage and happily fell in love with the love of my life. Richard S Allred was grandson and personal bodyguard to leader Rulon Jeffs and later Warren Jeffs. I lived my full married life in close surveillance of “the Prophets” family. I being the first of five wives, learned how to open my heart, arms, and home. A mother of six and wife of fourteen years, I lived for my family and lived wholeheartedly my religion. As the Leadership adjusted our world would be turned upside down and shaken. My Husband was a founder of the different secrets that were transpiring that people would only hear about years later. My children continually were kept from me and finally ripped away and I was "sent away" forever Being cast out, thrown into a world I was taught to abhor and fear my entire life. Entirely stripped of everything, home, family, friends, seemingly my very existence. Through adversity, I found strength within. I found my voice taking power, and learning my true potential. Fighting for my kids, going against everything I once knew and loved. Now thirty-six and a single mom of seven beautiful children I fight to give them a new life becoming strong and independent in this modern world.
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One Response to Why

  1. Joe says:

    Your amazing!

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