When someone starts “speaking out”, one is automatically branded as a Rank Apostate, bitter, or seeking to do harm. That is what the leaders of the FLDS want everyone to think in hopes Truth will not be made known. Honestly, I believed that myself for so long.


Is this a stand against polygamy or results of anger?

Is it to hinder, put down, or say “woe is me?”

The answer to all these questions is “NO!”

I’ve actually had a pretty good life. I made the best of the blessings given. I loved my family. We were somewhat of a model Plural family to those around us. My sister-wives were my best friends. We had our problems but worked through it because we all had the same goals in view.

What made me start writing in the first place? To leave with my children the knowledge of the love their mother had for them. It spurred me into having a deeper, stronger, more intense fight for them than I thought I could muster.

Though I don’t feel or believe the same way, I still respect others for their beliefs and expect them to do the same for me, as we are all here to live the best we can with our individual paths.

I am ashamed at my neglect. I slackened in my efforts to keep up with my writing.

I have to confess, it’s not as easy as one would think. In fact, it has been more 13315672_506871132846634_6402080187358220959_ndifficult than I imagined. I thought I was ready to speak out and share. I’m living my life all over again. Everything I bottled up for 33 years, I’m re-living and facing it RAW, more awake and realistic than ever before.

Last time, I started into a section of an experience that was extremely emotional, and the nightmares returned. I woke up sobbing as I relived the feelings all over again.

I thought about taking the easy way out and just drop it all and move on, yet I feel driven and inspired to continue for whatever the outcome may be.

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