Power of Voice
Living in a small world of mostly adults and men, for the first 16 years of my life, sassy, stubborn, determined and fearlessly I, fought. I was finally feeling heard. This only lasted a few 4-5 short years despite the fight. Motherhood became a source to control me. When I came to realize I was in so deep it was silence, or lose everything. Realizing I couldn’t have both was hard to accept and one of the darkest times of my early motherhood and young marriage. I chose motherhood. My children have been my driving force, as well as, my greatest fear and cause of my deepest pain.
Over 10 years it only got worse, I was continually made to feel I was not good enough and even when I felt I had given more than my ALL it still was not good enough. I was so wrapped up in “the story.” Extremely reclusive I became a stranger to myself. In order to please others, I started second guessing myself. Truth to me was “I am a bother” this lie became my reality. I could only afford to trust myself until I could no longer hear my heartbeat.
I can’t even put into words how amazing freedom from this constant pressure feels. Now I’m coming to realize, “even my voice matters.”
Going through some of my personal hell, I have learned so much. The knowledge, appreciation, and gratitude for the things I have taken for granted had I now take for granted. In feeling the loss of so much it has helped me through some rough roads in life. because I chose to take a lesson out of every experience, a blessing for the future in one way or another.
You are beautiful, you are stronger than you know. Your experiences impact your destiny on every level. Negative or positive you inspire so many lives.